As a teenager, you are surrounded by many pressures, including peer pressure. Peer pressure can make it difficult for you to stay true to yourself and navigate through a very important time of your life in a way that is healthy and helpful for you. However, there are tools that help empower you to take steps towards the life that you want. These tools include ways to resist temptation and negative influences while staying true to who you are and who you want to be. Remember, while you are bound to make mistakes, you can always change and grow.
Tony Hoffman’s Story
As a teen, Tony Hoffman was bound for success. He was set up to be a top BMX Racer and successful in many aspects of his life. However, under the surface, Tony was struggling with crippling anxiety and depression. These mental health challenges led Tony to spend time with peers who were using drugs and alcohol, and eventually, for him to try marijuana. While he intended to try it once, it was a quick and slippery slope for Tony.
A few years later, Tony found himself homeless, struggling with mental health and addiction challenges, and incarcerated due to drug-related crimes. Essentially, Tony Hoffman, who was set for success, found himself at rock bottom. Tony can tie this downward spiral to the choices he made as a teen. While he fought his way back to achieve his goals, Tony knows that the best option is to never get to that dark place.
How Peer Pressure Impacted Tony Hoffman
As a teenager, Tony Hoffman was impacted by his peers. Tony wanted to be cool, liked, and a part of the group. These are all healthy and normal feelings that you, as a teenager, likely understand. However, the group of friends whom Tony spent time with used drugs and alcohol, and therefore, Tony felt peer pressured to partake.
As a teen, Tony did not know the ramifications of his choice. He did not know that smoking marijuana one time would lead him to stop competing in BMX Racing, to isolate himself, and to throw away the many opportunities that he had. If he had, Tony might have made a different decision. However, Tony did not, in part due to the peer pressure of his friends, egging him on to try it just one time,
Choosing His Own Path
When Tony was incarcerated, he was truly at rock bottom. He had a choice to make. Tony knew that if he did not choose his own path and change, he would be in a cycle of addiction, mental health challenges, and crime. Therefore, he took matters into his own hands and chose to live his life differently.
Even though Tony was older when he made this choice, he was criticized for the goals he set for himself and for seeking ways to improve himself. Correction officers told him that he shouldn’t shoot so high and that they would see him back in prison soon. However, Tony put his head down and went to work. He decided to take the path of opposing peer pressure and build his life in a way that was healthy and happiest for himself.
Meeting Adversity Head-On
Part of making this choice was to meet adversity head-on. While incarcerated, Tony was met with much adversity. He had to learn to care for his needs mentally, emotionally, and physically. Tony also needed to recover from addiction and learn how to support his recovery efforts by learning tools that would help him both in prison and beyond. Finally, Tony had to make a plan and move forward. This was particularly difficult as he had no idea how he was going to meet the goals that he set for himself.
While Tony had not resisted bad influences as a teen, he learned to do so in prison. At many challenges, Tony felt defeated. However, he met the adversity head-on. He knew that if he continued to put in effort towards goals that he believed in he could succeed in building a new and improved life for himself. As a result of his hard work, Tony has met all of the goals he set for himself and continues to improve and find joy in his life.
What Is Peer Pressure?
Peers are others who are similar to you; this can be in age, opinions, or other ways in which you identify yourself. You are more likely to spend time with others who are similar to you, and you become more like those you spend time with, your peers. Therefore, behaviors like how much you exercise, what you eat, and if you use substances will, in part, be a result of those you spend time with. This is peer pressure at its base.
As a teen, you likely want to fit in, and therefore, you may feel pressure to do what others are doing without it being spelled out for you. However, if you do not, someone in your group may say something simple like, “Are you going to try?” This is the most basic form of pressure to conform. Essentially, you are being pushed into doing something.
Peer pressure can also look like bullying those who do not conform. This could mean being teased for not partaking in an activity with the group or seeing others bullied. While teasing can be brushed off as something that is of no matter, it is not. Being teased greatly impacts how you feel and is a form of bullying you into something.
Recognizing Peer Pressure in the Moment
Peer pressure can look different in different situations. As a result, it can be difficult to recognize it. One way to determine if you are being pressured is to consider the idea and if it is something that aligns with you and your priorities. For example, if one of your goals is to go to college. Behaviors that fit with that goal include studying, participating in extracurricular activities, and preparing yourself for the path in college you are most interested in. Therefore, the choices you make ideally will align with your goal.
If you are peer pressured, the idea or thought of behavior will come from outside of yourself and be disconnected from your own values and goals. For example, if your friends are encouraging you to skip school, and you ultimately want to go to college. This idea does not fit into what you desire for your future and your own values.
Empowering Yourself During Peer Pressure
Once you have recognized peer pressure, the next step is to empower yourself to make your own choices. This sounds simple. However, as you know, standing up to peer pressure is not simple. It is a difficult skill that requires practice. Fortunately, you have options that can help you to feel empowered to make choices that are in your best interest.
Long-Term Thinking
When you experience peer pressure you are often thinking about the immediate results. For example, if I don’t skip school with my friends they won’t like me anymore. Thinking in this manner is short-term and hyper-focused. Essentially, you are only considering one way in which you are impacted by your choice.
Alternatively, long-term thinking opens your mind to all of the ways that skipping school could affect you. Essentially, you have to zoom out to see the options. Thinking about the long-term consequences can be difficult when experiencing peer pressure. However, asking yourself a question such as, “What are the consequences if someone catches us?” can help. This puts you in a mental space to consider what teachers, parents, and other adults would think of your choice.
Saying No in Different Ways
When you begin to think about your choices with a long-term perspective, you will begin to see the choice you want to make. Knowing that you want to say no is the first step. The second step is to say no to those pressuring you. Saying no outright is one option. However, there are several ways that you can say no that can be more comfortable for you.
When you are being pressured, and you want to say no, the goal is for you not to follow through with the behavior. This can look like telling your friends you aren’t comfortable with it and do not want to do it. However, it can also look like finding a reason that you are not available. For example, if you are being pressured to go to a party, you can plan to do another event that will make you unavailable. This is a way for you to distance yourself from the situation without having to say you do not want to attend.
Creating Distance From Peer Pressure
Being a part of a peer group is important; it helps you feel like you belong and are part of a community. However, being a part of a group can make it difficult to separate yourself from the group’s ideas. Peer pressure pushes you towards doing things that the group as a whole believes in, but you may not.
Therefore, a method that can help you when you are experiencing peer pressure is to create distance for yourself. Creating distance when you are feeling pressured can look as simple as stepping away for a few minutes. This gives you a chance to take a breath and think for yourself. However, it can also look like spending time with people from different groups to keep yourself open to other relationships.
Forming New Friendships
As a teen, you are discovering yourself as a person. In order to find a peer group you enjoy, you will need to explore different friendships. Sometimes, you can find yourself in a peer group that does not align with your goals or values. This is normal.
While it is difficult, it helps to remember that you can form new friendships. There are many people in the world and many others in your orbit. Forming new friendships can help you recognize this. As a result, you learn that if you are experiencing peer pressure, you do not have to stay friends. You can move towards other friendships that are more suited to you.
Remembering You Have Time and Options
Peer pressure often makes you feel rushed and nervous. This is for a very good reason. As a human, you are social and want to have friends and a peer group. However, this desire can make you see the situation with blinders.
It can help you remember that you have time and options. You have time to think about what you would like to do and what choice you would like to make. In addition, you have options. There are many ways to deal with peer pressure, and there are many peer groups that you can join if you find that the peer group you are a part of is no longer a good fit.
Importance of Navigating Peer Pressure Well
Learning to navigate peer pressure is important. It is a skill that will serve you well in many ways, both as a teenager and far into adulthood. When you learn to navigate peer pressure, you learn the value and importance of trusting yourself. This sets you up for success in friendships as well as other aspects of your life. In addition, navigating peer pressure is good for your long-term health, both mentally and physically.
Trusting Yourself
As a teen, you are beginning to develop ideas about yourself and the world. The more you learn about yourself, the more that you discover where you want to go, your goals, and the person you want to be. However, getting there is a series of small and large choices. Each of these choices requires that you trust yourself and that you adjust if you realize you have made a mistake.
Learning to navigate peer pressure teaches you to trust yourself. You learn how it feels to not want to do something and how to communicate that to others. This is a skill that will help you to make both small and large choices in your future, such as going to a certain college or accepting a job. Remember, you are bound to make mistakes, and that is okay. When you do, you can learn from these mistakes and move forward with more knowledge of yourself.
Long-Term Health
Commonly, peer pressure pushes you towards activities or choices that are unhealthy. This can include drug or alcohol use or activities that negatively impact your mental health. Tony Hoffman is one of many people who were severely negatively impacted by a single choice to use drugs. This choice led him down a path that ultimately put him imprisoned and struggling with addiction and poor mental health.
Fortunately, when you learn to navigate peer pressure, you make your own choices. This means that you can consider the stories of others, your own goals and values, and make the best choice for you. In the long run, this has a huge impact on your health, leading you to a much happier and healthier future.
Getting Help to Navigate Peer Pressure
Navigating peer pressure is difficult, and while there are many strategies that can help, it is normal to feel uncertain about how to deal with every situation. Fortunately, you do not have to do it alone. Finding an adult whom you trust is a good option to get help when you need it. This might look like speaking with a guidance counselor, teacher, or parent. Most importantly, if you feel you do not know how to deal with peer pressure, remember that you are not alone. There are others who want to help you and can support you in making the best choice for you.
Tony Hoffman knows all too well how peer pressure can impact teens. His quick downward spiral is not unusual and serves as an important story for teens to understand how much decisions in their teens make a difference in their lives. One of Tony’s goals in prison was to become a motivational speaker who helps teens understand how to stand up to peer pressure and take the reins in their lives. Currently, Tony offers motivational speaking for students, where he shares his story and helps teens learn how they can stand up for themselves and make choices that will set them up for success. To learn more, call us today at (559) 392-8897.
